New year. New Glee! Following a Christmas episode for which I could not hide my disdain, that was the attitude I adopted heading into the winter premiere, “Yes/No.”
It lasted about .07 seconds, I’m sorry to say.
Within the first five minutes, this was the random sequences of events thrown our way: an immediate cover of “Summer Nights” from Grease; the announcement that Beiste and Cooter eloped; a Becky-based narration by Helen Mirren because people with Down’s Syndrome can apparently sound however they want to inside their head and because, hey, isn’t it hilarious to hear a British Oscar winner say the words “bitch” and “reals?!?”
Oh, and the most ridiculous, hardest to believe storyline of all: that Will Schuester plays fantasy football.
Look, I get the argument that Glee is simply meant as a fun distraction for an hour. It’s just about singing and laughing and dancing and people like myself shouldn’t bother to analyze its lack of storytelling or direction because that isn’t what the show is about.
I don’t buy the argument – because Ryan Murphy and company have come out many times and said they have grand, societal messages in mind when it comes to the show, meaning the creator himself has said this is really intended as the polar opposite of a carefree, mindless experience – but, hey, I have no problem with those who want to sit back and let the music wash over them.
But an episode such as this made one haphazard effort after another to try and tell multiple stories, to try and develop various characters. It wanted fans to be fully invested in supposedly heartfelt moments… but I couldn’t have been the only viewer shaking my head when the plot wanted me to be wiping my eyes.
You know how we’re always talking about moving toward marriage? Emma asked Will at one point and I wanted to scream: NO! WE CERTAINLY DON’T KNOW THAT AT LEAST! THE SHOW GOES WEEKS AT TIMES WITHOUT GIVING US A SINGLE WEMMA SCENE! WHY WOULD WE HAVE ANY CLUE YOU TWO WERE HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION?!?
After spending two seasons actually planting decent seeds for this potential couple, Glee held down the fast forward button, just got them together in the offseason, ignored them for months and asked us to believe they were each other’s soulmates. I was incredibly impressed by the choreography of the proposal scene, but I couldn’t have cared less about the proposal itself. You can’t just decide to tug at my heart strings one week, Glee. You need to earn it.
Moreover: come on. Are we meant to believe that Will really doubted his future with Emma because of her disease? Or that he has zero friends? (What about his pals in his fantasy football league?!?) Finn takes him ring shopping? Finn is his best man? Why not develop Will as an actual human being, not just a prop through which New Directions can sing and whine? That’s really all this proposal was about, an excuse for the club to take on a new assignment.
Yes, Will used his proposal as a school assignment. What a complete tool.
Relatedly, Finn asked Rachel to marry him. Some may have taken his gold star-inspired speech as beautiful; I took it as pathetic. It’s not a romantic notion to propose because the only meaning you have in life is your love for someone else. Your love should not define you, it should complete you (right, Jerry Maguire?). Yes, it does make sense that Finn would feel so lost and confused after hearing such news about his father, but about that:
WTH?!? I see no reason to believe everything about this story wasn’t written the day before shooting. From Finn wanting to join the army, to the out-of-left-field admission by his mother, to his question for Rachel… again, no build-up, no investment. Just an utter lack of quality storytelling all around, and all in the name of trying to shock viewers with an ending they can talk about the next morning.
When was the last time Finn even mentioned his father? Now he wants to follow in his footsteps… wait, now he learns some seriously horrifying information… wait, now Kurt is somehow turning this into a sob story about his future at NYADA… and wait, now Finn is proposing. Seriously, that ALL happened in this one episode and that was just one of maybe six storylines the show spewed forth. What’s the rush, writers?
This could have been a fascinating arc for Finn if the show possessed a shred of patience. It could have felt like actual character development, stretched over the course of multiple episodes, instead of a series of random events crammed into one hour at the last second.
It’s just the same for everything else about the episode. We literally saw Mercedes holding Sam’s hand for one second at the end of one episode. Now she’s singing about him and fantasizing about him and Glee wants us to root for these two because… because it’s in the script, that’s pretty much the only reason.
And did NeNe Leakes really make a pun about 40 Acres and a Mule, the post Civil War act that provided land to former slaves? What the heck is going on here?
I know it isn’t fun to read a critic bashing a show you like. And my intention is not to belittle those who still get enjoyment out of Glee each week. But it’s my job to write an honest assessment and, my goodness, the wheels have fallen off here faster than whatever storylines the show will burn through in two weeks when it returns… with a random Michael Jackson tribute episode. Sigh.
What did you think, Gleeks? Did your heart burst at Will’s proposal? Or do you wish we had spent more time with this couple prior to the big development? And what about Finchel? Will Rachel say yes? Should she? Debate these questions now, browse through my favorite Glee quotes from the hour and also check out the following Glee music from the episode:
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