Truth Bomb: I Like Ben Affleck’s Back Tattoo

This may come as a surprise to you, but I like Ben Affleck’s massive back tattoo. 

Wait, what? 

You don’t know about Ben Affleck’s massive back tattoo? Have you been living under a pop culture rock for the last 4 years? Well, let me enlighten you. Ben Affleck has a massive back tattoo, and it’s magnificent.

We got our first glimpse of Ben’s massive back tattoo in 2015, when a stalker — I mean paparazzi photographer— snapped a shot of it poking out of Ben’s shirt. And his jeans. Immediately I was intrigued. Whatever was under there was big.

The back tattoo might have disappeared into celebrity body art obscurity. But then Ben made the pop culture faux pas of denying it was real, saying it was for a movie he was shooting. Of course, the internet pounced. Ben became meme fodder for months. Don’t believe me? Google “Sad Ben Affleck.” 

And here’s the thing. Ben may have indeed been very sad. He’d been caught having an affair with his kids’ nanny. Then his marriage to Jennifer Garner collapsed. And then there was the whole “pretending to be a man-bat” deal. It was a rough couple of years.

The truth surrounding Ben’s back tattoo came out — as all truths inevitably do — in 2018, when Ben was photographed on the beach with his gloriously massive tattoo in full view.

Again, the internet pounced and Sad Ben Affleck memes rose from the ashes like Ben’s colorful ass phoenix. Pop culture judgment descended on Ben like that asteroid from Armageddon. I’ll admit I was one of the Twitterati who giggled at Ben’s apparent mistake. But I can also admit when I’m wrong. And I was wrong about this. It’s Ben’s body and if he wants to cover it with a massive back tattoo, good for him.

In fact, I like Ben Affleck’s massive back tattoo. It looks like something you’d sketch on your Trapper Keeper in high school when you’re planning your next D&D campaign. Ben had a rough couple of years, so maybe he got that ink so he could feel like he had a charisma score of 15. Only Ben really knows, and that’s okay.

So let’s celebrate Ben Affleck’s massive back tattoo. And let’s also celebrate that Ben founded the Eastern Congo Initiative, an advocacy and grant-making initiative focused on working with the people of Eastern Congo to grow opportunities for economic and social development.

The Democratic Republic of Congo has been ravaged by civil war and extreme poverty for decades, but with assistance from groups like the ECI, maybe they can rise from the ashes and transform their country into a stable place where their vibrant and enterprising people can flourish.

See what I did there? So keep up the good work, Ben. And let your massive phoenix fly!

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