Ruth Bader Ginsburg makes more than a fashion statement when she accents her black Supreme Court Justice robe with delicate white lace collars. She’s flaunting her freedom to be both feminist and feminine—because the Supreme Court hasn’t ruled those adjectives illegal. Yet. And they won’t, as long as RBG sits on the bench. Which is one of the many reasons we’re hoping RBG lives forever.
When you’re RBG, a lace collar isn’t demure. It’s a superbly subtle way of saying, “I am woman, hear me roar.” It’s also a subtle way of saying, “I’m a woman who’s put up with your patriarchal bullshit all my damned life and you can’t tell me what kind of fucking collar to wear.” You know, depending on the day.
The cynics out there might say her lace collar looks like an ornamental doily, but I’m not one of those naysayers. I’m a yaysayer! Lace doilies are used to protect surfaces. And what surface needs more protection than RBG’s very-healthy elderly body? None. Hear me, God? Protect this woman.
RBG recently told the Wall Street Journal that she wears a scrunchie every day. The internet went wild. “Scrunchies Are Back In Style,” think pieces proclaimed! “I Am RBG’s Scrunchie,” people on Twitter gushed! “Dear God, I hope Ruth Bader Ginsburg lives forever,” my Aunt Carol said on Facebook.
The Judge’s assortment of scrunchies hold her hair back in what appears to be a no-nonsense pony tail. But this youthful accessory makes you wonder: what’s she like when she lets her hair down? It also makes you wonder: if there’s a fountain of youth, can you let Ruth know, God?
The truth is, we don’t love scrunchies more than we did yesterday. What we love is that RBG loves them. We love her passion for fashion because it shows a lust for life. And we’re carefully monitoring RBG’s energy levels because we desperately need her to outlive Brett Kavanaugh, and every other straight white conservative man on the court. Are you there God? It’s me, A Rational American.
Our favorite Justice often wears fishnet gloves with her black robe, as well as classy business and evening attire. This is a statement that says, “You never know when these gloves are coming off, and when they do, you won’t know what hit you.” Unless you’re God, and you take RBG away from us too soon. In which case, I hope RBG takes those gloves off and smacks You good.
Look, I’m not normally a praying man. But I’m a fan of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s unique style. Not just her sartorial choices, but her court decisions too. Long live Ruth of Brooklyn, Judge of the Supreme Court, First of Her Name, Mother of Gender Equality, and Breaker of Same-Sex Marriage Bans. And may it be many more years before her watch has ended.