Father’s Day is around the corner, which means it’s time to buy a gift for Dad at Marshall’s. Even if you’re reading this on Father’s Day, there’s still time! “Father’s Day” and “last minute shopping” go together like “your dad” and “long silences at the dinner table.” Which begs the question, what do you give the man who has everything? (In this scenario, “everything” is defined as “a shaving kit, plenty of socks, and enough coffee mugs to stock every Alcoholics Anonymous meeting across America.”)
We all know Father’s Day was created by the Big Tie industry to sell more ties. But let’s get real: ties are the Dean Cain of gift giving. You used to think they were super, but they actually suck. Which is why we’ve put together a list of unique gifts perfect for any father on the one day of the year when you make a concerted effort to show him outward signs of affection.
That’s right, this is the Father’s Day Gleek Gift Guide. Look, maybe you’re super tight with your dad and you know exactly what to get him. But for the rest of you who googled “what should I get Dad for Father’s Day?” you’ve come to the right place.
Since toxic masculinity prevents you and your father from discussing your emotions, you could get him the gift of Listening to His Financial Advice Without Rolling Your Eyes. Even though he’s already recounted (countless times) the wisdom he learned (too late) from The Richest Man in Babylon, Father’s Day is the one day of the year when you can say “I’ve never heard that one before, Dad” without sounding condescending. This is the kind of gift that says, “We both know I’ll never be rich but I can afford a paperback on Amazon.”
There’s also the tried and true Father’s Day tradition of regifting bad gifts. Dig out that Golf Towel Dad gave you for Christmas even though you’ve never played golf in your life. It’s a pretty good bet he won’t remember he gave it to you in the first place. And it guarantees a warm moment where he thanks you for such a thoughtful gift and then invites you to play on some yet-to-be-determined date that you both know won’t actually happen. Because, let’s face it, neither one of you wants 18 holes worth of forced conversation about his latest crown molding project.
What about getting your dad a Popsocket for his phone? (I can already hear your dad saying “Popsocket? I barely know it!”) If you don’t know what popsockets are, they’re those grippy things you stick to the back of your phone so you can hold it for hours without giving yourself carpel tunnel. This is the kind of gift that says, “I don’t want you to drop your phone on your face in bed. Then you might have to actually talk to Mom.” How thoughtful!
You might say these are bad gifts, and we agree. But the whole idea of Father’s Day had a rocky start, so let’s celebrate the bad. Father’s Day was conceived by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd in 1910. Mother’s Day was already a thriving holiday and Sonora thought dads deserved a day of honor as well. She proposed the holiday to her church and asked them to celebrate it on her father’s birthday. The church ignored that second request. Which means Sonora got to tell her dad: “I created a holiday in your honor and it will randomly happen a few weeks after your birthday!”
So when it comes to Father’s Day, everyone at Gleek would like to remind you: it’s never too late to get Dad a bad gift. Or, as we like to call it, a Dad gift.