It’s Time to Talk About the Lack of Satirical Websites on the Internet

Laughing people

I just sat down to write a history of online humor, but all I could find on the internet was real news. A quick Ask Jeeves search confirms: Google is a better search engine. It also confirms that no one has ever created a satirical website before. (As far as Jeeves can tell, although sometimes I think Jeeves day-drinks, which makes me question his reliability.) So just to be safe, I’ll focus on the history of a humble little domain known as Gleek dot com. 

Gleek was founded right before the Great Depression of the ‘20s. America was on the brink of economic collapse. Most families didn’t have enough money to buy avocados, let alone toast. No one said “that’s the bee’s knees” anymore, because bees were on the verge of extinction. Jazz was “hip” again, thanks to white film director Damien Chazelle. And alcohol consumption was on the rise, also thanks to white film director Damien Chazelle. 

Even though the President boasted he created “forty-eight thousand jobs in, like, my first few hours in office,” many Americans struggled to find work. Press conferences were a fad of the past. Other fun fads of the ‘20s included large telephones, long beards for men, and casual Nazism. 

Oh, and crazy contests were all the rage! People competed for money on sites like GoFundMe, JustGiving, and DontLetMeDie. Any random person could either help pay for your Aunt Louise’s life-saving thyroid cancer surgery or fund another season of Veronica Mars. It was a scary time. 

But then Gleek happened. 

If you’ve read the “about us” portion of this website (and who hasn’t?), you know that Gleek means “to make a pointed joke.” In other words, to “gleek someone” is to “roast them.” And since everyone has such a great sense of humor about themselves, Gleek immediately found an audience among internet influencers, who shared, liked, and stole Gleek’s content. #DontBeAJokeThief

Of course, there were some people who attempted to be funny on the internet before Gleek. Who can forget when Chase Bank humor-shamed their clients for having the audacity to buy a cup of coffee? That’s comedy!

But the secret to Gleek’s success was an almost indefinable je ne sais quoi. Okay fine, I’ll define it: the satirical website became instant clickbait because of the sexiness of its founders. 

That’s right. Not a single Harvard diploma among us, but we’re hella boinkable. In fact, all the folks “behind the masthead” got started in this business as models. Yes, modeling for stock photos in an alley is modeling. 

So don’t be ashamed to click the hell out of this website and read every post. Rest assured that all these words you’re eye-fucking right now were written by total thirst traps. Which is a relief, right? Since we all know things are better when they’re done by traditionally attractive people with symmetrical faces.

I would include a photo of the entire Gleek staff to prove our sex appeal, but I don’t want to overwhelm any of our readers. You came here for the jokes, and that’s our preferred method of making you come. 

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