Remember when fictional serial killer Buffalo Bill made a “suit” out of skin in Silence of the Lambs? Well what if Buffalo Bill designed phone cases? 

That’s the question a team of French researchers are asking with their “Skin-On” phone interface (pictured above). It’s a phone case made of artificial skin. It’s so realistic, it can be pinched, scratched, and tickled. Gives new meaning to phone sex!

These ultrarealistic phone skins are perfect for anyone who yearns for physical contact. Has it been awhile since you held someone? Slap some skin on your phone and cuddle! 

I’m sure it feels exactly like holding a lover, if your lover was a metallic rectangle with Wi-Fi. Also if your lover has an uncircumcised penis. Don’t say you weren’t already thinking about uncut dongs with all this talk of extra skin. These phone cases are a mohel’s worst nightmare!

The truth is, phone cases made of skin are the next logical step in the evolution of communication. Aren’t our phones already an extension of our bodies? I’m closer to my phone than I am to most of my friends. Sad but true. Might as well make our relationship even clingier. 

When I fall asleep staring at my phone, I want to imagine a ‘90s sitcom character telling me to “talk to the hand.” 

When I put my phone in my pocket, I want to feel the rush of my phone getting to second base. 

When I use my phone in public, I want strangers to walk the other way because they’re afraid I might turn them into a phone accessory.

Which gives me an idea, actually. If these phone skins become popular, an entire industry of Skin Case accessories can’t be far behind. And Gleek wants in on the ground floor. 

Which is why we’re introducing our new line of Gleek Skin Care Products For Your Phone™.  

GLEEK CELLULAR REPAIR NIGHT CREAM

With Gleek Cellular Repair Night Cream, you won’t have to worry about your phone getting all dried up and wrinkly. Who needs to worry about skin damage when you have high cell phone signal strength?

GLEEK DEEP MOISTURE HYDRATING BALM

The last thing you want is a cell phone case with chapped lips. So rub some Gleek Deep Moisture Hydrating Balm onto your phone’s lips and listen to it breathe a sigh of relief. Literally. Because it has lips.

GLEEK PHONE ACNE CREAM

Admit it: there’s nothing more embarrassing than a phone case with zits. Say goodbye to phacne and say hello to a blemish-free phone case. 

Well, there you have it, folks. Someone found a way to make phone cases creepy. Now someone just has to make a phone charger that pulses like an umbilical cord.

You’re welcome.