WHY DID YOU CALL YOURSELVES GLEEK?

The original meaning of the word GLEEK is “to make a pointed joke.” And since we’re a satirical comedy website that likes to poke fun at stuff we love, we figured #Gleeking fit the bill.

I’M INTERESTED IN WRITING FOR GLEEK, HOW CAN I SUBMIT?

Gleek isn’t currently accepting outside writing submissions, but we’d like to very soon. So share your favorite posts with everyone you know so that we can make enough scratch to hire more writers. Because yes, we believe in paying writers for their writing. Please don’t send us any unsolicited submissions because we can’t even peek at them.

HOW CAN I SUPPORT GLEEK? 

Bookmark the site and read us every day. Tweet us, share us on facebook, add us to your mom’s Holiday newsletter.

CAN I DO ANYTHING ELSE TO SUPPORT GLEEK?

Well, since you asked, sure! Open Gleek.com on your co-worker’s computer and read us there too. Or when you’re laying in bed with your significant other, open us on their phone. It’s like Cardi B says, “I was born to flex, diamonds on my neck, I like boardin’ jets, I like mornin’ clicks…”

AFTER THE FINALE, DO BRITTANY AND SANTANA STAY IN NEW YORK TO PURSUE A CAREER IN THEATER, OR DO THEY MOVE TO LA?

You’re thinking of online fans of the popular television program Glee, but the writers at Gleek stopped watching after Season One and cannot answer your Glee-related questions. But we would like to remind you that Kurt says “every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion,” and we agree.

WHAT KIND OF AMMUNITION DO YOU RECOMMEND? 

You’re thinking of a Glock. Gleek is not a firearm, it’s a satirical website. And we believe in responsible comedy ownership.

HOW DO I APPLY FOR A NEW OR REPLACEMENT SOCIAL SECURITY CARD? 

Stop asking us questions that have nothing to do with our website. 

DO I HAVE TO PAY EXTRA TO BRING A CARRY-ON BAG? 

Most likely.  

HOW CAN I ARRANGE TO GO ON A TOUR OF NASA’S JET PROPULSION LABORATORY? 

Please visit NASA’s website (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/events/tours/views/) and arrange a tour directly through them. 

WHY HALL & OATES? 

Why not Hall & Oates?  

DO YOU THINK GLEEK IS AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE SUPER FRIENDS, OR JUST ZAN AND JAYNA’S PET MONKEY?

You’re thinking of that little blue monkey from Saturday morning cartoons. But since we’re on the subject, I would argue he’s a full-fledged member of the Super Friends. He understands all languages (including alien races); he has a super power — his incredibly elastic tail that can snatch a full grown dude; and Jayna needs him to carry her bucket when she takes the shape of water. Otherwise she’d be constantly yelling “Shape of a puddle!” And if we’re being honest, that’s not gonna help Superman defeat Grax. 

ARE THESE REALLY THE MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS YOU RECEIVE? 

How dare you.