It always happens at the worst time. You need to use your cell phone, but it’s out of battery and you don’t have anywhere to plug in. That’s the Gleek Power Paradox: the need for a power outlet is always inversely proportional to power outlet availability. 

As far as I can tell, there’s no rhyme or reason to where architects put power outlets. Would it really be that difficult to put one on every wall? Don’t you think it would be nice to give us options when it comes to, say, lamp placement in our bedrooms? Don’t you realize we need to plug in more than two things at a time? Who hurt you?  

Every time I unplug my toaster to plug in my coffee maker, I ask myself: what the hell is wrong with the person who designed this room? Sure, you could tell me to use a power strip, but why should I be forced to clutter my countertop like that? Stop acting like fascists and give us the power outlets we need!

If there are any architects reading this, wanna know how to be a hero? Add an extra power outlet to each room you design. Wanna know how you can be a God? Add two extra power outlets. Think that’s enough power outlets? Think again. 

But that gets me thinking. Why do we have to be so small-minded with our outlet locations? Who says we always have to plug into walls? Why can’t I plug my laptop into the back of a chair? Why can’t I plug my blender into my refrigerator? Why can’t I plug my Keurig Coffee Maker into my cat?

Which is why Gleek would like to introduce the Portable Power Catlet. It’s a cat, with a power outlet embedded into its body. For all your portable power needs!

If you ever wanted a power outlet that walks away from you when it finds you annoying, this is the perfect power outlet for you. Next time you charge your phone, would you like your power outlet to scratch you in the face? We can make that happen! 

If we’re being totally honest, your Portable Power Catlet will make you long for the days when you had fewer places to plug in. A dead cell phone isn’t nearly as annoying as a power outlet that drags your phone into the litter box every time you try to charge up. 

But that’s the brilliant thing about the Portable Power Catlet. It’ll help you accept the fact that you’re actually, truly powerless in this world. So purchase a Portable Power Catlet today, and enjoy a future of blissful apathy.