Lazy single people have been making up fake Canadian significant others ever since the 70s. Why maintain a relationship with a real human when you can pretend to miss an imaginary one? Especially when your Canadian girlfriend doesn’t care if you text her back or not.
An early pop culture example of this phenomenon was in The Brady Bunch when Jan pretended to date George Glass. She never actually said where George lived, but I’m guessing Toronto.
The Canadian girlfriend/boyfriend trope has popped up in a wide number of TV shows, from Dawson’s Creek to Game of Thrones. (Remember that subplot where Arya convinced the Hound she was dating The Cockslayer of Vancouver?)
I’ll admit, I’ve played the “fake boyfriend in Canada” game. In fact, I’ve invented several Canadian lovers. But my new Canadian boyfriend is real, hand to God. Someone accused me of photoshopping our latest Facebook photo, but I swear it’s real. The only reason you haven’t seen us together is Justin has a very important high profile job. But he’s not a phony Canadian fling. He’s REAL.
But for those of you who still need to create fictional significant others, it’s time to find a new country of origin. No one believes the Canada thing anymore. It’s a tired trope and immediately raises red flags. You need a new lie. It’s time to diversify where all these pretend people live…
Gleek has a few suggestions.
UKRAINE
Very topical! Ripped from the headlines! You won’t have to answer too many questions about the person you’re “dating” because the conversation will immediately shift into politics. This one might be kind of a lose/lose, but “my girlfriend lives in Ukraine” has a nice ring to it.
GILEAD
This place doesn’t exist, but neither does your girlfriend. Might as well garner sympathy from the person you’re lying to. And Margaret Atwood has already provided you a ton of backstory.
ANTARCTICA
Tell people you’re dating a scientist who’s researching the devastating effects of climate change. No wonder they can’t come to game night. They’re too busy trying to save the polar bears. And I’m not talking about old hairy gay men. They’re trying to save actual polar bears!
So break up with your boyfriend in Vancouver, and say goodbye to your girlfriend in Toronto. Exciting new fake lovers await you!