Who Wants Some Macrame Owls That Will Haunt Your Dreams?

Have you noticed macramé has been making a big comeback in the crafting world? And not just in your Aunt Shirley’s weekly crafting circle, The Chronicles of Yarnia. Macramé has gone full-on trendy mainstream. Just ask Gwyneth Paltrow about her macramé anklet. At just $150, it’s a macramé deal! Or a macradeal, as nobody calls it.

But why pay $150 for a cuff made out of yarn, when you can just make one yourself?  Or better yet, why not macramake yourself whatever you macrawant? Because with macramé, the only limit is your imagination. Or your yarn allergy.

Macramé was hugely popular in the 1970s. People made macramé purses, hammocks, key chains, plant hangars, and lamp shades. They even made macramé clothes. Kind of.

What made macramé so popular was how easy it was to learn. It’s basically just tying a series of knots. The only tools you need are a pair of scissors and your fingers. You can make macramé using yarn, rope, hemp, cotton twine, or linen. You can even use human hair. But be careful not to look too serial killery while you’re gathering your clumps of hair-yarn. I’m not saying Ted Bundy was really into macramé, but this sweater says otherwise.

The 1970s are considered the Golden Age of Macramé, but the craft has actually been around much longer. Traditional macramé weaving is believed to have started in 13th-century Arabic cultures. It soon spread into Europe through trade centers. In fact, the Spanish word “macramé” is derived from the Arabic migramah, which means “ornamental fringe.” And as you can see, it lives up to its name.

Sure, you can use this inexpensive, incredibly versatile crafting technique to make clothes or a murder hammock. But why would you do that when you can macramake yourself a bunch of macramé owls that will haunt your dreams? Because nothing says “home sweet home” like adorning your walls with these rope demons…

But what if you want your macramé owl to be more than just decorative? Then make yourself a macramé owl toilet paper ring…

The vacant plastic eyes are an especially nice touch. They’re guaranteed to make your next bowel movement feel as soulless as you do.

Maybe you want something a little more whimsical? Well, get yourself an “Olivia Owl Macrame Kit” from Brown Finger.

Because nothing says whimsey like the words “Brown Finger.”

Perhaps you like your macramé owls to feel a little dirty.

Huh. Where have I seen that center shape before? Oh yeah, now I remember…

So the next time you’re looking for a little craft fun, break out the scissors and some yarn and fashion yourself a fuzzy nightmare.

Because sometimes you just have to look fear in its slightly wonky eye to know that everything’s gonna be okay.

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